My dormitory common room
Was where I saw my talent bloom,
For any hour, free to use,
Was table soccer, known as foos.
Four handles you can slide and flick—
The hits are hard, the action quick.
There's study time for every test,
The foosball table took the rest.
I learned to block, I learned to pass.
I skipped my composition class.
(I figured I had got the gist,
And notetaking could cramp my wrist.)
By second term, I ruled the floor.
I never bothered keeping score.
My games were like a snare drum roll
Of echoes in the rival goal.
Then, confident that I was able
To hold a tavern foosball table,
I set off on my new career
With coins for foos, and bills for beer.
The rules provide efficient play—
Contender's coin, the winners stay.
I could all but guarantee
That I would play all night for free.
My first game was an easy win—
Some amateur who liked to spin
And hope for geometric luck.
I hit him like a semi truck.
Opponents came. I beat each one.
My shots unnerved, my blocks would stun
I'd be the one who'd never lose—
The anchor on the chain of foos.
But then I saw him shuffle in,
His glasses thick, his forearms thin.
Four silver coins refreshed the rack.
I readied for my first attack.
My hit was captured by his goalie,
Then, I swear by all that's holy,
From way back there, he found a hole
Which threaded through into my goal.
I'd thought I understood this sport—
Each move I made met blunt retort.
No offense shot would he forgive,
My defense functioned like a sieve.
It steadily was plain to see
This player got the best of me,
And even with some lucky aim,
I had no hope to win the game.
My title stripped, dominion crumbled,
This foosball giant left me humbled.
I asked the champ if would tell
Me how he learned to play so well.
He answered with a timid "yup"—
His training came by growing up
With absent father, working mother,
Basement foos, and older brother.
Marshall Begel became a serious poetry hobbyist when he found that bad jokes are better received when stretched out with meter and rhyme. He lives in Madison, Wisconsin and has had many pieces in the journals Light and Lighten Up Online.