In the end, she finds herself untethered,
sifting back through messages sent
to find a reason
they spent all those years together.
She ponders the augurs and yarrow stalks
and the feathers of lost owls.
She reads signposts on highways,
changes in weather,
the passings by of strangers.
Upstairs in the hall, a picture of them,
black and silent in its frame,
bereft of answers.
At the far end, the bed they always slept in,
sheets tucked in, perfect
and lifeless.
Each direction she turns, a new darkness
finds her—the garage with its cobwebs
and dust, the porch
with its red chairs rusting.
Sunday morning, she starts digging
in the garden and cannot stop.
The holes get deeper and deeper
until her hands are bleeding
and church bells are ringing
and evening unfurls its slow hand.
Above the trees, the moon
is a communion plate
offering to return all she has lost.
A door is closing inside of her.
She falls to her knees
and presses her hands to the earth.
Silently, with eyes closed,
she screams.
